A breakup of a non marital relationship can be just as devastating as a divorce. The pain can be intense even if the relationship did not last a long time.
Go ahead and feel your feelings. Feel the anger, the sadness, the betrayal, the confusion. Avoid going into your head and obsessing instead of feeling. Avoid overeating or using other addictions to escape your feelings. Feel your feelings now, and you will be free to move on with your life.
When people come together in a commitment, many dreams and hopes are created. These are not simple to let go of, because we use dreams and hopes to guide us to our future. Your dreams and hopes do not have to be dead. You will re-create them again with someone else, or even alone.
When recovering from breakup or any devastating loss, it is critical for you to be allowed to speak with someone as much and as often you need. Join the break-up support group if you do not have close friend or someone you can have conversation about your feelings.
In order for you to be able to move onto creating new wonderful life, you need to be aware what happened. This is the part of your journey in which you will have to be extremely sincere with yourself. You need to clearly trace the events that led to the hostility or the cooling off in the relationship. You are not a victim, and seeing yourself as such will only cause you more hurting.
Understand why you chose your former partner. People choose relationships for many different reasons and call it being “in love.” If you can honestly examine and understand why you chose your partner, you will also start to build understanding to be able to choose differently the next time around.
Forgive your partner, forgive yourself. Understand that you and your ex-partner did the best both of you could. Understand that even when you were doing things to hurt each other, it was still the best you could do at the time. Forgiveness is a sure way to free yourself up in order to have a wonderful life in the future.
Create distance between you and your ex- partner. Spend three to six months with no contact. This will give you the opportunity to grieve and work through your anger. It will also allow the relationship between you and your ex-partner to possibly begin again on a different footing.
If you are to create a better relationship in the future without repeating the same mistakes, you need to understand and examine yourself in regard to relationships. You need to know what you want in a relationship, what kind of partner would be best suited for you, what you absolutely need in order to feel satisfied, and what you absolutely will not accept.
Divorce or breakup recovery is a stressful, painful and life-changing process so you must take care of yourself extremely well. Reduce your workload, eat well, exercise a little and get lots of rest. For your psychological health add in extras like a massage, take a creative class, do something fun, read, go for a walk, laugh.
Although recovering from divorce or breakup is not easy, you can do it. Take it one step at a time. You will succeed coming out of the process healed and be ready for a new healthy relationship.